Spinal Tap

We who live on the financial edge are drawn to the word "FREE" like an overheated dog to a pool of water. And so I found my legs heading over to the sign with said word at the Monrovia Street Fair.

"Mmmmm, " I thought as I saw the sign that read: Free Spinal Screening. I pictured a mealy-mouthed man with slicked-back greasy hair running his fingers down my spine. I kept walking past the booth.

"But when will I have another opportunity to get a spinal screening?" I thought. "I mean, I have been having trouble with my knee and foot." One minute later, I found myself in front of the smiley woman with the clipboard.

Initially, I was very suspicious of Dr. Ray Pevey who looked like an ex-body builder gone doctor. "A little too polished," I thought, "for someone who has biceps that big".

However, he conducted himself with utmost courtesy and validated my own suspicions: my pelvis looked to be out of alignment. He then offered me a fantastic deal...a full screening at his clinic that was regularly $195 for only $20! My suspicions were slightly alerted again when he mentioned "neurological testing" as one of the many tests they do (perhaps I am just chiropracticaly ignorant, but what do neurology tests have to do with your posture?) But somehow, before I knew it, I was signing up for the series of tests for next Friday. Although I have been known to be suckered before, Dr. Pevey does have a real business card and his smiley receptionist gave me a receipt, so it MUST be okay, right? After all, I can always flee the premises if it turns out to be a shady deal. Misaligned pelvis or not, I feel confident I can outrun Dr. Pevey with those big biceps weighing him down. What a great deal!