Albanian Hospitality: A night of tea(copious amounts) and talking

Amhad and Habbibba live with their 3 children in two small rooms in the small town of Lipje, where I am staying for several nights. I accompanied a young missionary couple on their visit to this family as my first experience interacting with some Albanians. I was met with warmth and friendliness, and I was amused to see their young son greet me in a miniature U.S. army uniform. Albanian Kosovites love Americans because of the NATO bombing, seeing us as their liberators. They celebrate July 4th and jokingly state the adage: God first, America second. Kosovite Serbs, on the other hand, have exactly the opposite feelings towards Americans for exactly the opposite reasons.

With one eye on the conversation and the other eye on my Turkish-style tea glass to ensure that I was drinking at a similar pace as everyone else, I found myself drawn into Amhad’s passionate views on Kosovo. “Nobody wants to speak the truth here, “ he claims. People shut their eyes to the truth of all the corruption, the mafia, the humanitarian aid that is being exploited for the rich….people are too afraid to speak the truth because you might compromise your relationships with people. And besides, most people play along with the corruption. They may not get even half of the aid they are supposed to get, but at least they get some if they keep their mouths shut.” He proceeded to tell me about last winter, when there was no wood for the stoves at his kids' school. Since the winter before had been mild, the municipality had pocketed the money designated for school fuel. Consequently, the kids were suffering through below 0 temperatures at school. Amhad tried to rally the parents to demand fuel, but no one wanted to raise any trouble. Eventually, Amhad went down to the president of the munincipality and demanded that either he take action or Amhad would go to the media. The next day, a truckload of wood appeared at the school.

By this point in the conversation, I had already drank 5 cups of the tea, and there was no end in sight. I asked Amhad if he believed peace could exist between the Kosovite Serbs and the Kosovite Albanians, since most towns were completely segregated(even the schools) and mistrust and hatred for the other are rampant. Amhad declared that people needed to decide to see the other as a person and not disregard them for their ethnicity. He said there needed to be an increase in morality. He said that if justice came to deal with the corruption, the economic situation improved, if people had jobs, then it would be easier to live in peace once more. Amhad himself has not worked since the war: 12+ years ago. In fact, he turned down a job as a border guard because he would have had to participate in corruption. "I may not have money, " he said, "but I am clean. Someday they will have to answer for every penny they take."

After 2.5 hours of conversation and swimming in a stomach-full of tea, we took our leave amidst warm handshakes and their promises to make me Amhad's famous Swiss coffee were I to visit again before I left the country.

Albanian hospitality is equivalent to the Serbian hospitality I experienced. However, they are divided by language, religion, and a bloody past. Both sides have committed ethnic cleansings, although history is viewed through only one lens in each respective group. If the children remain segregated, learning about the other in terms of mistrust and hatred, I fear for this new country. I would guess most ordinary people, like many others I have met in the Balkans, only want to live their lives in peace, being able to provide for their families. However, it seems that the way to peace is impassable by the fierce rivers of an unresolved past.

P.S. For those concerned with my previous dire post, the next day in Belgrade was much better. That lady made some more time for me and I got to ride on a green scooter next to the river. Who can ask for more?